Since reading is not my strong suit, movies are my books and a source for learning for me- they help me to understand the world around me. Now just because I struggle with reading does not mean I do not love storytelling. I believe stories are a great source for understanding many abstract and physical concepts but also entertaining, a great way to connect with others and a great gateway for imagination. I love stories where you can feel the beauties of life spilling out from the page or screen. It’s where you are so entranced by the story, you feel as though you are experiencing it too.

Disney is an expert on storytelling, and I have always dreamed to one day create magic like that on the big screen and mostly create magic like that in my own life. Along with watching Disney movies- Disney Parks were always one place I could experience that magic firsthand; which is why they are my favorite place to be. At a Disney Park or Resort it’s where I can create any story I want and have an adventure outside of my daydreams. Growing up in California, I had only gone to Disneyland in Anaheim, before I went to Florida, but I dream of one day seeing all the Disney Parks.

If I was from California and Disney is in California, why go all the way to Florida? Around the year 2012, I first learned about the Disney College Program from my cousin’s friend who participated in the College Program in Anaheim, California. At the time, I was deep diving into Disney History and thought the College Program could be a great opportunity for me when I graduate college. Since I did have a lack of confidence with my academics, I knew if I did the college program, I would want to dedicate all my time to the program (and not half of it on schoolwork). I didn’t think I could balance both; I knew working at Disney takes a lot of time and dedication.

Mostly, I subconsciously knew I wasn’t ready, for I am, by default, a very anxious person. Like, you know the scene where Rapunzel leaves her tower finally, and she is like “I can’t believe I did this,” all excited, then regrettably goes, “I can’t believe I did this?” That is me. I am Rapunzel. She is me. I have never been officially diagnosed with anxiety but before “I left my tower,” sort of speak, I had a lot of fears and self-limiting beliefs that never allowed me to achieve all that I was capable of.

Along came March 2020, the world was falling apart, and I felt like I was going down with it. That year was a hard time for everyone, and when I was no longer in panic mode, I took it as a time of surrender and self-reflection. My life was heading in a direction that I did not want to follow anymore but I didn’t know how to admit it. I subconsciously knew it before the pandemic but thought it was my anxiety. I didn’t know it was a gut feeling that I needed a change, so I kept brushing it off.

I was in a career that didn’t match what I really wanted to do with my life, I was in a relationship that didn’t reflect who I was becoming, and I still lived at home at 25 years old. These circumstances were all I had known for so long and I was too anxious to leave them for a path of the unknown, but 2020 gave me the ass-kicking I needed. I was put on leave from my job due to the pandemic, my long-term relationship abruptly ended, and I was forced to spend time alone with myself for the first time since I was a teenager. My time in quarantine allowed me to put my life on pause to completely rediscover who I was and where I wanted to go.

When everything came crashing down, I looked at my life and knew I was not going to sit in misery and self-pity. I had changes to make, and I was the only one who could make them, but I also knew it was going to be a process- so to start I went inward. I mean, I had to because I couldn’t leave my house and only took nature walks near my neighborhood.

While I finished my last semester of my bachelor’s degree, I started doing things that were aligned more with who I truly wanted to be. Since I was not working, I took time to get work experience in a different career realm like remote social media marketing; I practiced new skills such as data entry, content creating, and graphic design. I also started to work on my mental health- I did whatever I could to work on my anxiety. I started going to therapy, writing in a journal, meditating, exploring spirituality, and taking daily walks. I did whatever I could to make moves even though I could only go so far because of the pandemic.

I discovered another topic during this time that came natural to me, just like learning about Disney and movies did- learning astrology. I had been looking at Astrology my whole life, but to help make the pandemic pass, I decided to teach myself how to read astrology charts. The more I learned, the more I realized it all just makes so much sense to me, and I found ways to read my chart to help give me the clarity I was looking for. I learned what things in my life were right for my soul’s journey and I finally rediscovered who I am supposed to be.

Another thing I learned while learning astrology was the idea of Astrocartography. Astrocartography is where the placements in your chart create energy lines on the globe and can hint at certain experiences you can have in certain locations. I thought it was wild that I had lines going through all the Disney parks I wanted to visit on my map. I laughed when I saw that and thought “wow, this map is definitely designed for me.” I should’ve realized then that it was almost time to start my Disney journey, but it didn’t hit me until May 2021.

Once the world started opening again from complete lockdown, and the vaccine was available, I started to finally go out more and hang out with people again. I was still slightly anxious about the pandemic, but I also knew that it’s now or never. I can’t keep waiting to be the person I want to be and do the things I want to do. The world was returning to something that slightly resembled normalcy, so I decided to take a trip.

For the past year, I befriended a woman who does psychic readings, I would go to her every few months or so. Every reading she would tell me, “If you want to make moves, you need to move.” She mentioned I would be moving home soon, but I figured it was my family moving, since they had been talking about potentially moving states. I also did not have the finances to move away from home, so I figured a small trip was moving. I thought maybe that will help bring a little momentum into my life and manifest more movement. She also recommended that I meditate and talk to my spirit guides for a sign. I needed to ask about my next move.

A week before I decided to leave my house to go on a trip, I asked my guides to send me a sign to show me where I needed to go with my life, not where I was traveling to- I knew I was going to Big Trees National Park. In that sign I asked for blue butterflies- I told them I wanted to see them in front of me and not on a screen, in my presence.

A week had passed and I didn’t see anything. I remember thinking it will come when it comes, if it comes. As we were hiking through the big trees- I took a deep breath, and I thought how these trees remind me of the planet Endor from Star Wars or a forest in a Disney movie. I felt like I was on my own Disney adventure, exploring, not knowing what would come next. At that moment, a swarm of blue butterflies appeared- they were like a light purplish blue and they were fluttering all around me. I felt a jolt in my body stop me in my track from this stunning scene as I watched them fly all around me in the middle of this enchanted park. That’s when the thought hit me- Disney needed to be my next step.

After my revelation, I started looking at job openings for Disney Studios and Pixar. Through my research, I had seen they were bringing back the Disney College Program. I was getting ready to go back to work while still having a lot to work on with my anxiety. Even though I had always dreamed of working for the studios and creating films- I thought I might as well apply, since I had just acquired my bachelor’s degree from San Francisco State in December 2020. Of course, I missed the due date to apply for the Fall 2021 program, so I put myself on the mailing list to receive updates and I wouldn’t miss the next enrollment period. Plus, Anaheim had just opened back up from the pandemic, I thought maybe Anaheim would reopen their College Program too, which is where I always pictured myself doing the program whenever I thought about it.

By summer of 2021, I decided to go back to work at the same job I had before the pandemic, just until I could find another stable one. I was currently an Assistant Director of a local after-school daycare. I had been working there since my freshman year of college. The job had its moments, and I did enjoy my time there, but I knew deep down that it wasn’t something I would do forever and it was time to part ways. I was still doing social media work on the side, but it was mostly small assignments which I enjoyed doing and loved the opportunity to branch out. I figured if I was to apply, this is the time, but I also didn’t get my hopes up, because I didn’t know if they would reject me.

In September 2021, I finally got accepted to the Spring 2022 program for the Disney College Program in Orlando, Florida. I did not say yes right away. As I mentioned in my previous post, there was a lot to consider and every anxious thought I’ve ever had had presented itself. This was a big leap, I would be leaving my home for the first time in 27 years to live across the country in a state where I have never been, and I knew no one. I mean I never even went away to college; I was always a commuter student. I did not know how I would do it- financially either. When they gave me seven days to decide, I used all seven of those days wisely- I did research, journaled, meditated and conversed with others about what I should do. And with all my chaotic pros and cons lists I made and overthinking, there was always a voice inside of me who knew the moment I got accepted that “oh my gosh, I’m moving to Florida.” Yet, I was and am still learning how to listen to that voice and not labeling it as anxiety.

Once I accepted the offer, I knew the College Program was going to be something I would do with all my heart and dedication. I would fully embrace this experience even though I did not know exactly what that entails. I have an opportunity to create and be a part of the magic I have adored since I was a little girl and show the world the best version of me. This was an opportunity I was not going to let get away. I truly needed to move to make moves. I knew this was the next step that had been waiting for me for a while, Disney had been calling my name for years and I wasn’t listening.

I felt like the star of my own movie- I was finally getting to be the person I have always wanted to showcase in an environment that was perfect for me. I was creating movie-magic and bringing it to life- my life – the kind of movie-magic I hope to make someday. By the time my program ended, I felt like I just earned my own happily ever after, and the credits were rolling. Of course, that was just the beginning of a long-standing franchise of movies that is my life.